After we post, not this word, or this word, but THIS WORD, we can Officially call our site Keeley Hazell’s Unofficial Fan Site!!! Because with that single word we have officially written more words on the big busted beauty then any other internet source in the known bloguverse (prove we haven’t). Which, thanks to that (and Hollywood tuna’s) kind of dedication of force feeding our publications with Ms. Hazell, she has become an extremely prominent E-List celebrity.
So enjoy these never before published out-takes from Zoo Magazine ’s previous “Sex On The Beach“ spread featuring Keeley on a sunny day at a Malibu beach, as we wait for a comment from her with her esteemed gratitude for our decision to pick her out of Britain’s endless supply of large breasted women to devote our star producing power on, or an e-mail from her lawyers with a Cease And Desist. Either way it’s about time we started seeing some compensation, perhaps an autographed 8×10 glossy or a hand produced 9×4 woody.
NSFW Topless Pictures and Behind-The-Scenes Video After the Jump.
While I was about to post these amazing pictures of porn princess Jenna Jameson from Maxim Magazine’s Italy Edition, I realized they looked a little familiar. So I searched my archives and found that a few of the pictures were from Esquire Magazine’s May, 2006 Special Edition Spread where Esquire named Jenna their No.1 Icon.
But Maxim magazine, never one to be anyone’s copycatting bitch, threw in a bunch of extra NSFW topless pictures as well to out due Esquire’s nipple-less spread.
So you can enjoy Jenna’s perfect physiques before Tito got his hands on her and introduced her to his patented bathroom toothbrush weight lost diet.
The unexpected leave of big boobed Keeley to Hollywood, jumbo boobed Jordan and pretty decent sized boobed Victoria Beckham to LA, must have caused the Queen to go into some sort of drunken desperation, because her majesty actually allowed a women with breasts not big enough to put out a small house fire with her milk hose to grace the cover of one of Britain most convenient magazines.
The lady’s name who is taking the first step toward changing mid sections of magazines through out the UK is Abigail Clancy, and the magazine just crazy enough to follow through with the Queen’s demands is none other than Britian’s own Arena Magazine.
Everyone knows France is notorious for their potato peeling patents (French Fries), their fear of battle (WWI and WWII), and their loose hygiene regulations, but at least they are more open to displaying females in their most profitable position: Nude. As is demonstrated by Wedding CrasherDiora Bird’s revealing spread for FHM’s french edition magazine.
As if this day wasn’t good enough (see post below) I now have another reason to walk around with a giant cheese on my face like a predatory priest at an all-boys camp. Jessica Biel is one of my favorite actresses, not because she’s good at what she does but because of shots like these. If you’ve never seen the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre then you absolutely have to rent it (or buy it) if for no other reason than to see the camera slowly follow this luscious booty as it makes its way through an open field. It’s a pretty good flick, but Ms. Biel here walking (not to mention running!) around in tight pants is definitely something to write home about (always assuming, of course, that you’re away from home). Just trust me.
Check out this exclusive clip of Jessica Biel and Nicolas Cages in their new movie ‘Next‘ which hits theaters April 27th. Nick is given the power to look into the future and determine which pick-up line works best for an over aged actor in balding denial to pick up a hot sexy starlet in the hotness prime of her life.
This thing is straight outta a MTV reality dating game:
Nicks trying to order a date, but Jessica’s dishing out rejections.
Will Nicolas be aBiel to score some 7th Heaven gratuities, or will Jessica be tipping today with turn downs?
Find out on the Next Bus!!!
While all you losers are lighting sparklers and blowing off digits, limbs, and mail boxes with M80s this July 4th, I’ll be watching robots come out of their disguise and onto the big screen. Yeah, I guess if I put it that way, seeing old man Clemens watch his TV guide get scattered across his perfectly pruned front lawn as he puts out a flaming brown paper bag with his brand new penny loafs might be a little more entertaining then watching robots try to take over the world.
Either way, here’s some leaked footage of Optimus Prime, the leader of the “Good guy” Autobots, finally revealing his long awaited big screen voice.
To go along with a couple of quotes we got from MTV Reality World’s interview with ‘Hills’ star Heidi Montag, we added this clip from Stuff Magazine’s March 2007 issue where you WON’T find 20 year old Heidi on the cover due Stuff’s stiff age restrictions [source], but you WILL find 20 year old Heidi in the video drinking alcohol due to Stuff’s party hard regulations.
First was to help with rumors every ‘Laguna Beach’ fan, all ‘The Hill’s’ lovers, and any resident of cell block 12 is a so dying to know about. Unfortunately, when MTV Reality World asked about fellow cast mate Lauren Conrad’s alleged sex tape in a question that was obvious meant for Heidi, her live in boyfriend Spencer interruptedly responded:
We heard the tape does not exist and we’re here for Lauren and we feel bad that these rumors are going on.
When asked if Heidi Montag would like to unnecessarily verify rumors anyone who looks at Heidi’s love lumps could very well do instead, Heidi gave the tabloid translation of “Yes, but I’m a little ashamed about the matter because I haven’t told my mother yet”:
A. Heidi shouldn’t be ashamed, she’s on a show based in Beverly Hills called ‘The Hills’ and had breasts like an open plain. It’s like Jason trying to be on a show based in Long Island called ‘The Long’, although the irony of the title might be enough for 2 reunion specials, the eventual consequences of betraying the viewers would be devastating.
B. As every Staten Island Cheerleading Catholic School girl (NSFW) and every iChat, picture phone, or Rapidshare Premium account holding boy knows, according to Article IV section B paragraph 2 of the Rules of Bragging Rights as the best friend of co-tape conspirator Jason; Spencer would have been given any and all access to the tape immediately following the accomplish filled task of pressing the stop button on that glowing red light LC assumed was just the phone charger.
Our buddy TC over at Tastefulcelebs.com broke the story yesterday about Hollywood’s latest Celebri-Not trying to cash in on her 15 minutes of fame with a sex video that reviewers have been quoted as saying “It’s the nastiest tape I’ve ever seen.”. Well today a new site hardcoreidol.com has gone live with an exclusive trailer to American Idol Contestant Olivia Mojica’s Sex Tape entitled “Hardcore Idol“.
The Site States:
Mojica was ranked as one of the “best of the rest” in the second season of the wildly popular Fox TV show “American Idol,” when she was just 18. She performed last on March 3, 2003, singing “Because You Loved Me” made popular by Celine Dion, but lost out to a field that included Reuben Studdard, Corey Clark and Clay Aiken. She is currently singing at clubs and other venues across the country as well as working on a full length album which is expected to be in stores nationwide in the first quarter of 2008.
The video, which Mojica made with her boyfriend Adam Roberts, a month ago in her New York City apartment, was obtained by Vivid from an unidentified third party. Vivid is currently trying to contact Mojica to see if she will help promote the video and share in revenue from its sale.
“A month ago” means the green-eyed brunette would be at the ripe naive age of 22 at the time of the tapes filming. The Full video is set to be distributed May 3rd by Vivid, the same company that brought us The Kim Kardashian Sex Tape, but there is no information to the length of the film, or what unspeakable acts are being preformed in the video’s “nasty” scene’s.
While I was about to post these amazing pictures of porn princess Jenna Jameson from 
Everybody loves Alessandra Ambrosio.