Playboy’s Plans to Prevent Eminent Downfall Revealed, Begins With Carmen Electra Naked

After a huge drop in sales, Hef’s once flourishing empire is in the middle of an economic crisis that may result in the collapse of the world’s most famous adult magazine. Playboy’s bailout plan includes eliminating a few departments, firing a few employees and adding a few big name’s to the list of cover girls for their 2009 lineup.

Hefner claims the company’s drop in sales is due to the troubled economy. To cope, Playboy has been forced to close their DVD division in favor of direct movie downloads and may leave nearly 100 Playboy employees jobless just in time for the holidays. Hefner is even considering selling tickets to his exclusive pajama parties at the Playboy Mansion.

Unfortunately, dirty discs and lotion rubbers aren’t the only thing Playboy is getting rid of. In a recent call transcript of Playboy’s 3rd quarter earnings for 2008, the company revealed that they will be cutting back it’s issue to 11 a year in order to help combat the weight of high production costs, “next year we will introduce a special summer double issue that will incorporate the July and August issues in one package.”

Those closest to Hugh and his sinking Bunny vessel have already started to abandon ship. His once obedient blonds, Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson, have all taken what fame could from their E! reality show, The Girls Next Door, and fled. Holly to magician Criss Angel, and Kendra to Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett.

Even the great one’s own daughter, Christie Hefner, has become aware of Playboy’s inevitable fall and announced that she will be stepping down as Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of the once priceless enterprise, “Last month marked my 20th anniversary as CEO,” Christie said in a statement. “Just as this country is embracing change in the form of new leadership, I have decided that now is the time to make changes in my own life as well.”

In January, the company will be celebrating their 55th anniversary. To commemorate the special occasion Playboy has enlisted the help of one of their most famous bunnies, Carmen Electra. The 36 year old beauty first posed for the infamous magazine in May of 1996 then June of 1997 and subsequently graced the cover twice, in December of 2000 and April of 2003. Thanks to the fame gained from her nude pictorial’s popularity Carmen has become an identifiable face in Hollywood, probably best known as the stereo typical “Hot Chick” in the movie-mocking flicks ‘Scary Movie’, ‘Meet the Spartans’ and ‘Epic Movie’ and most recently in ‘Disaster movie’ alongside Kim Kardashian.

To help wash away the falling tactics of 2008, which were responsible for the company’s stock to drop to $1.03 just weeks ago after trading just shy of $10 at this time last year, Carmen will return to her roots and pose one more time for the failing magazine. Her new spread will be featured in the January issue of Playboy magazine releasing December 12th and is part of a new plan by Playboy to hopefully resurrect their near death empire, “I started my career with Playboy magazine,” Carmen says in her interview with PB “1996 was the first time I shot here. I think there’s a freedom in taking off your clothes and posing.”

That new plan being to avoid featuring forgotten super-models of the 80’s and start featuring almost forgotten sex-symbols of the 90’s. Staring with Carmen and her renowned rounds in January and following her always prominent pictorial with a special photo shoot from another women who can list Playboy as the source responsible for her fame and who was also among the last sex symbols from the previous millennium, Jenny McCarthy.

Like Carmen, Jenny also appeared in movie-mocking flick ‘Scary Movie’ for it’s second squeal and had a small part in the film it mocked, ‘Scream’ (also for it’s second squeal). The 36 year old mother started her career with a Playboy pictorial in 1993 and was named Playmate of the Year for 1994. Now 15 years later Jim Carry’s girlfriend is rumored to be the cover girl for Playboy’s February 2009 issue just in time to help promote the premiere of her beau’s film ‘I Love You Phillip Morris’.

The last lady to complete Playboy’s list of 90’s sex symbols is Pamela Anderson who as of yet is not scheduled to produce any new pictorials for 2009. Although there is still no official word yet of Pam posing for Playboy, with her appearing nude in an uncensored video from Hef’s 82nd Birthday party and revealed in a recent interview where she says, “I am definitely doing Playboy again. I can’t end on number 13. Yes I have got to do one more.” You can almost be sure we’ll see on at least one of their covers for 2009.

However, Playboy’s new plan of giving it’s readers exactly what they want may not last long into ‘09. Rumors are that Lil’ Kim is the next celebrity to go nude for March’s issue, also deemed the “See We’re Not Racist” issue.

Also among those rumored to be in Playboy’s arsenal for combating bankruptcy next year is Danity Kane drop out. The provocative 24 year old singer allegedly posed nude for a Playboy photo shoot in Manhattan late last month.

[Behind-The-Scenes Video From Carmen Electra's January 2009 Playboy Photo Shoot]